Planning a Wedding During a Marriage

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Hello, Readers

I know it has been a long time, and I am aware that irregular posting does not guarantee loyal readership, so I offer my apologies for not having anything to say for awhile. It has been really hard trying to figure out a focus for this blog. I read so many great blogs that seem so focused and interesting, and I don’t want to waste cyberspace (although there is plenty of it) with senseless ramblings. I do, however, want to contribute something that might help someone, somewhere.

With that said,  I have decided to talk a little bit about what has been going on with me.

On March 15, 2010, in the District of Columbia, I married a beautiful woman; this is news for two reasons (1) making a for-life co-commitment with anyone is… well, something like amazing , and (2) our marriage was not possible/legal in the District of Columbia one month before our wedding date.

My wife and I were the fifteenth same-sex couple to be granted a marriage license in Washington, DC. The story of our union is on our wedding blog (to be announced), but this post is about the fact that our official wedding date is going to be followed by another wedding date in November, a.k.a. The Presentation of the Brides ceremony.

In early 2010, same-sex marriage was (and still is) a hot-button issue, and the  political climate in Washington, DC was pretty volatile, and we were concerned that DC might run into some California-type complications, so we decided to get married early– eight months earlier than our planned wedding date. Our Monday-night wedding was beautiful. We were married in the rain by one of our favorite ministers; we had dinner with ten of our closest friends, and by the end of the night, we were a legally married couple. Suddenly, the November “wedding date” did not seem so important, as we had to go about the business of being married.

Recently, we have decided to revisit the idea of a wedding (Presentation of the Brides ceremony) in November.  So, planning a (second) wedding is a part of our first-year-of-marriage process. We are happy about this, and we have discovered that planning this ceremony has brought us closer together and allowed us many  opportunities to explore the things that we value individually and as a couple.  As soon as we learned to be present in/for this process we found peace, creativity and new levels of love and respect for each other. Welcome to some of the highlights of our process.

These are the things we know:

  1. Our POB wedding ceremony is an opportunity to present ourselves as a couple to our community new/old. It also is an opportunity  to clearly mark the transition of this part of our lives. We are no longer the single/life-of -the-party/stay-until- the-end-of-Game Night women– our responsibility is now to the family that we have committed to create. We want to bless our old communities and welcome our new.
  2. We want our POB wedding ceremony to represent community and meaningful connections.
  3. We want our ceremony to be the truest expression of ourselves that we can offer each other and our guests.
  4. We do not want to be consumed by and/or overly-influenced by what a new blogger friend of ours calls The Wedding Industrial Complex .
  5. On our wedding day and always, we only want to be surrounded by people who love us and intend to support our life together.

Suffice it to say, we have decided to use this opportunity to learn and grow with each other. Thus begins the Save-the-Date and invitation designs (shout-out to my graphic designer cousin who has sent us some GORGEOUS proofs), the choosing of the venue, the payment of the minister and all the other love and energy that comes with planning a wedding.

Perhaps my subsequent posts will include more details about this process…

Thanks, again, for reading.


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